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S8E9 The Florida Man Cometh
May 16, 2025 · 52 min

Welcome to Mysteries to Die For

I am TG Wolff and am here with Jack, my piano player and producer. This is a podcast where we combine storytelling with original music to put you in the heart of a mystery. All stories are structured to challenge you to beat the detective to the solution. Jack and I perform these live, front to back, no breaks, no fakes, no retakes.

The rules for law and order create the boundaries for civil co-existence and, ideally, the backdrops for individuals, families, and companies to grow and thrive. Breaking these rules puts civil order at risk. And while murder is the Big Daddy of crimes, codified ordinances across municipal divisions, counties, states, and countries show the nearly endless ways there are to create mayhem. This season, we put our detective skills to the test. This is Season 8, Anything but Murder.

This is Episode 9, missing person is the featured crime. This is The Florida Man Cometh by Jim Winter

This week’s story come to us from Jim Winter, author of the Holland Bay series, which includes Holland Bay and The Dogs of Beaumont Heights. Like his series, this story takes place in what he calls “the Celloverse,” set in and around the fictional City of Monticello.

DELIBERATION

Teasdale’s early morning response to an abandoned school bus has turned into a scavenger hunt for a Florida man gone AWOL. Which one of the three party animals is missing Florida man James Floren?

Trashcan Man, who is now unnaturally baldUnicorn Man, who bounced his head off at least one windshieldPacer Man, who managed to get a car stuck on a roller coaster

Here are the facts as Teasdale sees them:

A school bus and driver were borrowed from the school district by Mayor Nate Keller for a fishing party on Saturday. To Keller’s knowledge the bus was returned with a full tank of gas. The school bus wasn’t returned to the school district but left on Rufus King’s lawn. The driver, Charlie Tobin, is missing.Searching the bus, Teasdale discovered a stack of neatly folded clothes on the driver’s seat and an annoyed alligator chained in the aisle.Before being abandoned, the bus was parked at The Waffle House. The manager said a drunk Larry Molnek, a sales manager for a local car dealer, came in with a man he didn’t know. The manager tossed Molnek out for fighting. Either Molnek or the stranger head butted a windshield before leaving in the bus.Teasdale and Deputy Swenson received a BOLO Florida Man James Floren. The recently AWOL husband has family in Ohio, including now respected attorney Joe Reese. As teens, Floren and Reese were busted for breaking into the amusement park to climb the B-52 coaster.Inside the closed amusement park, Teasdale and Swenson discovered a naked man in a trash can. He was pale, white, and newly bald. Next, they found a man trapped in a Pacer stuck on the B-52 coaster. He was pale beneath his tan complexion. -Lastly, Swenson discovered a man in one of the bathrooms. He had a bloody, black-and-blue bump in the middle of his forehead.

Which is the Florida Man cometh?

About Missing Persons

Since 1975, the FBI has maintained the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) missing person and unidentified person statistics. According the 2023 statistics report, the files are retained indefinitely until the person is located or the record is cancelled by the entering agency. Data is collected on missing persons with disabilities including senility, where circumstances indicate the disappearance was non-voluntary and/or physical safety is in danger, where catastrophe is involved, and juveniles. As of December 31, 2023, NCIC contained 96,955 active missing person records. Within the calendar year, 563,389 records were entered and 563,644 records cleared. Of the active...