In this week’s Reminding You Why You Love Football, Owen Blackhurst is back in the big chair, and is babysitting Asad Raza and Matt O’Connor-Simpson to talk about dark times, audience retention, 5 stars, the joy of Discord, the skip incident, James in Milano, three pints and 18 fags, Asad Bird-White, The Legion of Gloom of Longform, two internationals in 48 hours, an audience with Tommy Gravesen, hats off to Hummel, having no skin in the game, coaching mode, Marc Cucurella, quiz-meister Seb on the ale, Matt on the Spot, Colin Wanker, Asad’s peak, The Naked Gun, PlayStation memories, FIFA fallouts and sulky losers, throwing down the gauntlet, bumbling around Germany, Baller League, KSI, a wooden Figo and Ronaldinho in a kimono, dodgy promos, a Trump trivela, Salah’s torso, Owen on the Jack Kerouac in size 14s, the Bukowski of badge kissing, the Hemingway of hat-tricks—Van Hooijdonk, knowing your value, telling it straight, banging in goals and banging kits, Turkish fans on social, Chris Wood, build your own St Pierre, outing Matt, Claude Puel, Arda in the limelight, Hooijdonk at Fenerbahçe, right place: right time, Peep Show, warm-ups, photo evidence, hard balls, football lingo, Dobby Club, Matt on the Spot again!, Arne Slott penitentiary candidates, Ancelotti at Everton, power cuts, “air quotes”, Craig Bellamy in his element, characters, nice cults, Keane at Ipswich, being rude, Owen giving the eye, phoning it in, falling off your bike, a cupping session, wellness, listening to your elders, looking up a setlist, Seb on the line from his sick bed, shit on the pillow, and somehow so much more.

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