DIG THIS WITH BILL MESNIK AND RICH BUCKLAND- THE SPLENDID BOHEMIANS

    THE QUEER AWAKENINGS OF A WILD BOY PURSUING THE NOVA EXPRESSOn September 6, 1951, William Burroughs killed his wife, Beat legend Joan Vollmer. At a friend’s apartment, she balanced a glass on her head, at Burroughs’s behest. He had contracted a lifelong mania for guns from duck-hunting excursions with his father, and was never unarmed if he could help it. He fired a pistol from about nine feet away. The bullet struck Vollmer in the forehead, at the hairline. She was twenty-eight. He was devastated, but readily parroted a story supplied by his lawyer, a flamboyant character named Bernabé Jurado: the gun went off accidentally. Released on bail, Burroughs might have faced trial had not Jurado, in a fit of road rage, shot a socially prominent young man and, when his victim died of septicemia, fled the country. Burroughs did the same, and a Mexican court convicted him in absentia of manslaughter, sentencing him to two years. In the introduction to “Queer,” Burroughs disparages his earlier work and adds, “I am forced to the appalling conclusion that I would never have become a writer but for Joan’s death,” because it initiated a spiritual “lifelong struggle, in which I have had no choice except to write my way out.”“There is no intensity of love or feeling that does not involve the risk of crippling hurt. It is a duty to take this risk, to love and feel without defense or reserve.”― William S. Burroughs“Silence is only frightening to people who are compulsively verbalizing.”― William S. Burroughs, The Job: Interviews with William S. Burroughs“Nobody owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death.”― William S. Burroughs“Hustlers of the world, there is one mark you cannot beat: the mark inside.”― William S. Burroughs“Desperation is the raw material of drastic change. Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape. ”― William S. Burroughs“I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it.”― William S. Burroughs“A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on. A psychotic is a guy who's just found out what's going on.”― William S. Burroughs“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.”― William S. Burroughs“Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.”― william s. burroughs“You were not there for the beginning. You will not be there for the end. Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative”― William S. Burroughs, Naked Lunch: The Restored Text“The first and most important thing an individual can do is to become an individual again, decontrol himself, train himself as to what is going on and win back as much independent ground for himself as possible”― William S. Burroughs“If I had my way we'd sleep every night all wrapped around each other like hibernating rattlesnakes.”― William S. Burroughs“I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits.”― William S. Burroughs“When you stop growing you start dying.”― William S. Burroughs, Junky

Dead or alive? Today, we feature one of each: two exquisite female singer-songwriters from the 70’s - one a heroin casualty, and the other a remarkable example of patience rewarded. Judee Sill could have been a Laurel Canyon diva on the order of a Joni Mitchell, but, an unquenchable, self-destructive thirst put a stop to her success; and, Linda Perhacs, a name lost in the archives of time, until a fluke, third-generational cult of folky weirdness reopened her long dormant chrysalis of talent. JUDEE SILLThere is a recent documentary, LOST ANGEL, that covers the tragic spiral and conflicted soul of the artist Judee Sill: reform school alum, heroin addict, prostitute, prisoner… followed by the release of two widely admired albums, then, tragically, her untimely demise at 35 from an O.D. But, it’s her music that matters and endures: startlingly original, quirky, deeply felt folk rock, tinged with ironic humor and pain, in a mix that elicits complex emotions. As Jesus loved the sinners and rejects of this mottled world, Judee, fearing that she would be lost, longed for the salvation that the Savior would bring. And, in the persona of the  “Phantom Cowboy”  (also the title of a 1935 Western movie), Judee evokes that ever elusive “Action” hero that will come, rescue her, and carry her safely to heaven.LINDA PERHACSIn this, our internet age, it’s been posited that everyone has the potential to be a star - but in 1970 there was a different algorithm working, and for a dental hygienist with musical talent… what were the odds?Linda Perhacs’s brilliance had a shot at being acknowledged when the dental hygienist gave her demo to a patient, the noted film composer Leonard Rosenman. He got the message, and produced her first record, Parallelograms. It was released and sank, and Linda resumed her quiet life. Cut to 2014 - 44 years later, and Linda’s record is rediscovered, thanks to “The New Weird America” folk music movement. It was repackaged and released on CD, and what a blessing to hear that ethereal, crystalline voice reanimated.  And, at 81, with a couple more albums out, Linda is a dental hygienist no longer. She’s an inspiration to aspirants everywhere. 

What a year 2014 was! That's what motivated me to start this diary, which is now going on year 10. It was such a hairy time, in fact, that as a way to process it all,  I hit upon the idea of creating a musical diary, using the I Ching - (something I'd been obsessing about) - as my guiding structure. My sister-in-law, Lea died suddenly, but before that Chemayne and I were mandated custody, by Court Order, of our nephew, Gunner. Oh, yes... and, then, out of nowhere, I contracted Bell's Palsy, which paralyzed half of my face. It's in the rear view mirror now, but, geez... that was trippy. 

What we’re offering today is something completely different: two outlier artists (although one is a French icon) who created off-kilter, out of the box, almost unintelligible nuggets of artistic brilliance. These cuts are linked, not only by the fact that they both feature sinuous bass lines and orchestral flourishes, but that they are produced by artists whose stances were  uncompromising, prickly, unknowable - and, touched with stardust. SCOTT WALKERScott Walker, whose rich, deep baritone was first introduced to the world in the early 1960s, with the internationally famous group, The Walker Brothers (they weren’t) - and their hit single “The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore.” When he went solo he faced an uphill battle, trying to gain public acceptance for his dark, and tangled personal visions. I became enamored of his work when I heard his musical evocation of Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal. By 1970, his solo career went silent. Probably, as a financial imperative, he rejoined The Walker Bros, for some moderately successful MOR cover filled albums. But, in 1984 Scott’s mojo returned, triumphantly, with the album “Climate of the Hunter” from which this cut, Rawhide, derives. (Don’t worry about trying to figure out the lyrics - just let it wash over you). Against all odds, the “30th Century Man’s”  time had come, and there was a whole new generation of acolytes, eager to drink the magic potions Scott was uncorking. SERGE GAINSBOURG Serge Gainsbourg’s unique 1971 concept album, Histoire de Melody Nelson, is a suite of songs telling the story of a doomed, illicit romance between a middle aged man and a 14 year old girl named Melody, portrayed by his muse, the dreamy actress and model, Jane Birkin, who also graces the cover.Produced far before the “Me Too” era, this provocative and subversive pop-music drama was not offensive to the French; on the contrary, it cemented the French chameleon’s iconic status, and the celebrity couple became the subject of much tabloid journalism. His stylish, outlaw decadence generated a fascination that continues to this day. Gainsbourg, born Lucian Ginsburg, the son of Russian-Jewish immigrant parents, was a manufactured creation. He took his nom de musique as a tribute to the English painter Thomas Gainsborough. And, after surviving the German occupation of France during WW2- (he recalled having to wear the Yellow Star, which identified him as a Jew) - he went on to carve out an indelible new identity of swagger, writing and producing over 500 pop hits spanning several genres. He was one of a kind.

Welcome to our new series, “The Beat Goes On,” where we will celebrate the work and enduring influence of Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, William Burroughs, and the other writers whom we identify as “The Beats.” - that crop of artists who worked to expand our consciousness, exploring the hidden possibilities of post WW2 America in the 1950s - Other significant names to be explored: Diane Di Prima, Tuli Kupferberg, Ed Sanders, Delmore Schwarz, Anne Waldman, Carolyn Cassidy, and many others.We will also include jazz musicians like Miles Davis, John Coltrane and Dizzy Gillespie, whose sinuous Bebop lines influenced the expansive prose of Kerouac and poetry of Ginsberg, and comedians like Lenny Bruce, Lord Buckley, Brother Theodore and Dick Gregory with their scathing critique and unmasking of our nation’s hypocrisy beneath the self-deceptive rhetoric of American exceptionalism.  And, then there are their artistic children like Hunter S. Thompson, Charles Bukowski, Tom Waits and Lou Reed…. The list goes on.First off: we need to define that confusing term “beat”… Once the satirists were able to pin them down, the Beats and their devotees were labelled “Beatniks” (a cold war epithet) and put into a farcical box. This is where I, as a child, first became aware of them through the character of Maynard G. Krebs on the Dobie Gillis show. The child-like, pre-hippie with the dirty sweatshirt and goatee, indelibly played by Bob Denver, later of Gilligan fame. He was a gentle figure of fun, not to be taken seriously. But, the truth goes so much deeper. Kerouac defined Beat as short for “beatitude” - a state of grace, a codex for the maturing “peace and love” Baby Boom generation coming up - those in search of existence’s deeper meaning beyond the consumerist and war-like American culture being offered as our only option.Well, boy, do we need them now! HENRY MILLER INTERVIEWOur inaugural offering is a 1964 interview with the writer Henry Miller, of TROPIC OF CANCER, TROPIC OF CAPRICORN, and THE ROSY CRUCIFIXION TRILOGY fame, among many others. This is an insightful, in depth look at a artist of gargantuan influence. Miller was interviewed by Audrey June Wood  in Minneapolis during a speaking tour; he considered this interview to be one of his best. Miller discourses on some of his favorite books and authors and the struggle of writing well. It was released on Smithsonian/ Folkways Records.Strictly speaking, Miller was not a Beat - he preceded them, and out lived many of them, making it to 88 in 1980, but he was their spiritual and artistic pathfinder.Living hand to mouth, on the edge, abroad in Paris, writing free form in a raw, explicit, semi-autobiographical manner, telling the truth about sex, love, art, and struggle - he set the artistic compass for the Beats - as Dostoevsky and Walt Whitman had done before him. They are all part of a chain - a chain of searchers, and we are fortunate to have these lights to guide us on our own personal journeys to self realization. Please enjoy…THE BEAT GOES ON. 

Today we live in a cynical world. It’s pervasive, this debilitating disbelief in our institutions, our once assured tenets of groundedness. Now we doubt, not only what we see, but what we hear, and even our own thoughts. Are they indeed our own? Or, have they been shaped by the unrelenting marketers and influencers? Back in the 80’s - even earlier back in the 60’s the attitudes of boredom and mistrust seemed exclusively the province of old school Europe, in particular the French, who invented the perfect word for it: Ennui. The great bon vivant, George Sanders, in his suicide note explained that he was leaving his life because he was bored. In the following offerings we celebrate a time when cynics could be appreciated as unique and exotic. CYNICAL GIRL by Marshall Crenshaw proclaims the lure of nihilism in a poppy, irresistible interpretation. And, THEM TERRIBLE BOOTS by the Orlons makes fun of a wannabe fashionista at the crossroads of burgeoning Mod style. MARSHALL CRENSHAWIn Marshall Crenshaw’s 1982 eponymous debut album, CYNICAL GIRL chimed out so brightly it was a paused that refreshed. The singer wants a cynical girl who has no use for the real world, and this notion, wrapped in candy colored chords, invited us to embrace the “Debbie Downers” in our lives, and to realize there’s something comforting in the dark side. Maybe we could save each other. Crenshaw, the latter-day, second coming of Buddy Holly even portrayed the Proto-Rock God in “La Bamba” and charmed the world with his unapologetic cheeriness. But the euphoria couldn’t last. His debut outing achieved his highest chart position, but it was a bracing example of positivity while it lasted. THE ORLONSThis quartet of street-wise, Philly teens made the trsition from middlin’ Doo-Wop practitioners to dance craze mega stars with their triple crown of chart toppers: Wah Watusi, Don’t Hang Up, and South Street, evolving into one of Cameo-Parkway’s hottest acts. THEM TERRIBLE BOOTS from 1962 was the B-side to South Street, and rode that comet’s tail into recording history. It’s an evocative glimpse into that time when the cultural landscape was in transition from the staid 50s to the super-charged 60s. The aforementioned cynicism is reflected in the mockery to which the dude who is wearing the mod clothes is subjected.  But, he was just probably a bit ahead of his time. When the only male member, (and survivor) of the group, Stephen Caldwell, repeats the title phrase in his basso profundo, the whole salty world view clicks into place. 

BUKOWSKI SPEAKS!!!!!Cause and Effect -For Kurt Cobain"the best often die by their own handjust to get away,and those left behindcan never quite understandwhy anybodywould ever want toget awayfromthem"Bukowski writes with no apologies from the frayed edge of society.“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”“For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.”Bukowski's response to: “Do you hate people?”“I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around.”“Find what you love and let it kill you.”“If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.”“We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.”Bluebird“Bluebird” is one of Bukowski’s best-known poems and came late in his life during a time of great reflection. It deals with one of deepest-rooted human emotions: vulnerability.Bukowski typically dealt with “hyper-masculine” subject matter, but this poem suggests that, like most men, Bukowski also struggled to live up to traditional notions of masculinity.there's a bluebird in my heart thatwants to get outbut I'm too tough for him,I say, stay in there, I'm not goingto let anybody seeyou.there's a bluebird in my heart thatwants to get outbut I pour whiskey on him and inhalecigarette smokeand the whores and the bartendersand the grocery clerksnever know thathe'sin there.there's a bluebird in my heart thatwants to get outbut I'm too tough for him,I say,stay down, do you want to messme up?you want to screw up theworks?you want to blow my book sales inEurope?there's a bluebird in my heart thatwants to get outbut I'm too clever, I only let him outat night sometimeswhen everybody's asleep.I say, I know that you're there,so don't besad.then I put him back,but he's singing a littlein there, I haven't quite let himdieand we sleep together likethatwith oursecret pactand it's nice enough tomake a manweep, but I don'tweep, doyou?This was published in Bukowski's book "The Last Night of the Earth Poems" circa 1992

THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESSI've been keeping a diary and dream journal for ten years. Recently, I hit upon the idea of revisiting and recording passages of the diary in a quest to understand myself better by connecting the dots between dream life and the time awake.The first episode explored 2024; this second entry revisits a passage from 5 years earlier.It was the summer of 2019. I experienced an earthquake, a car accident, and the difficult birth of an original theater piece, which came to be known as "Toxic Shocks". The project was suggested in order to address some issues surrounding student's concerns, which will be enumerated within.This necessitated a new approach to theatrical devisement (is that a word?) --, and I embraced the challenge wholeheartedly. Despite my being all in, things got a bit rocky.The passages from the diary describe the difficult birthing process, and the effect on my dream life. 

It seems as though the 12 bar blues structure is an immovable object, an obelisk of sacred, ritualistic, totemic authority. But the form contains multitudes of variety. Here are two examples of the plasticity of that container, which holds the magic blues elixir and can pour it smoothly, or have it gush out, uncontrollably, like a tidal wave. So, be careful when you put your lips to the chalice … the edges can be sharp, and the liquid it delivers may be too intoxicating! Up first, we have Harvey Mandel, the “Snake”- a guitar wizard, brandishing and slashing his ax-cutlass like a pirate, as he boards equilibrium’s frigate docked inside your ear canal, with his own composition, 4pm; then, JB Hutto and the Hawks stagger through “Too Much Alcohol” like drunkards in search of another, much needed pint of medicine - with his razor sharp slide work JB illustrates those sensations perfectly, with an insistent, whimpering pulse.HARVEY MANDELIn 1967, Samuel Charters, for Vanguard records, in an early effort to reveal and showcase the second generation of Chicago’s blues scene,  produced harmonica master, Charley Musselwhite’s first album STAND BACK! HERE COMES CHARLEY MUSSELWHITE’S SOUTHSIDE BAND, and caused a literal big bang in the hearts and minds of American youth. This was Harvey Mandel’s first recording, and launched the notable guitar slinger for hire’s 60 year career, going on to join Canned Heat, John Mayall’s Bluesbreakers, recording many solo efforts, and landing one step away from becoming a Rolling Stone.   Known as “the King of Sustain,” our track, 4pm, showcases the longest sustained electric guitar note at age 21, a feat copied by Jimi Hendrix two years later. Harvey’s inventive style is trademarked, and you can hear those clarion notes ringing out like a buzz saw, transitioning from one amazing improvisation to the next. JB HUTTO AND THE HAWKSThe next cut, TOO MUCH ALCOHOL, also on the Vanguard label - featured on 1966’s Chicago / Blues / Today! Sounds almost like it could have been recorded in the previous century, when, fresh off the farm, players were captured in their first big city outings on lo-fi recordings - it’s that raw and spiky. And, yet, both Mandel and Hutto were breathing the same mid-60s Chicago air. JB’s slide style was influenced by Elmore James, of DUST MY BROOM acclaim, and he carried that torch forward. The son of a preacher from South Carolina, Hutto made his way to Chicago after his father’s death in the early 50s, but ended up working as a janitor for 11 years, until, in the mid 60s, he was discovered and unleashed on the world by Vanguard. 

In 2005, while visiting the gift shop at the downtown Los Angeles MOCA museum, I came upon a blank journal with a cover fashioned from a salvaged vinyl album by The Allman Brothers. It had the pink Capricorn label. As a lover of vinyl I grabbed it, and decided to begin a journal. It’s been ten years, and I’ve been keeping this diary and transcribing my dreams  ever since. Dreams, ideas for songs, and a chronicle of my family and interior life.  I always intended to go back and see if there was some sense of something to be made out of it, and this is the first attempt at that.I hope you find it interesting. Bill Mesnik, 2025“The Interpretation of dreams is the royal road to a knowledge of the unconscious activities of the mind. “ (Sigmund Freud)“In contrast to the subjectivism of the conscious mind the unconscious is objective, manifesting itself mainly in the form of contrary feelings, fantasies, emotions, impulses and dreams, none of which one makes oneself but which come upon one objectively.” (Carl Jung)"Myths are public dreams; dreams are private myths. By finding your own dream and following it through, it will lead you to the myth-world in which you live. But just as in dream, the subject and object, though they seem to be separate, are really the same." (Joseph Campbell)“One day it will have to be officially admitted that what we have christened reality is an even greater illusion than the world of dreams.” (Salvador Dali)