Anti-bully mindset: I don’t want attention. I won’t try to get your attention, I won’t try to keep your attention, I feel good without your attention, I feel good with your attention as long as it’s enjoyable and doesn’t get boring.

Frame everything the bully does as an opportunity to give yourself what you deserve: confidence, self-respect, humor, self-reliance, recognition for doing what's right. Whatever the bully does is an opportunity to show everyone you don’t seek attention, especially if it’s theirs.

Here we go into detail about exactly how an anti-bully responds to classic bully moves. This is going to be a long one but you can skip around to find the strategies that will work best against your bully. I'll go in order of the list below. See if you can anticipate how a person who doesn’t want attention would handle each bully tactic.

What to do when the bully:

Disregards you

Falsely accuses or makes mountains out of molehills

Gives the silent treatment

Sets a double standards, break rules or make them up on the fly

Intimidates you

Isolates you

Mood swings

Says mean things

Bullies online

Ignores you

Gossips and spreads rumors

Invades your privacy

Intrudes and imposes on you

Physical aggression or crossing the line

Punishments

Steals credit

Steals, hides, damages your property

Threatens you

Withholds information

Uses emotional control

Gangs up

Harasses you or uses violence