Everyone is a target of bullying at some point. When the bully succeeds, the target is victimized. The more that happens, the easier it is to take on a victim identity.

Seeing yourself as a victim is bully food. Break out of victim behaviors and the bully behaviors that follow.

This episode is about social mistakes that could leave you open to bullying

Too IMPRESSIVE comes off as I’m better than you, and too INDEPENDENT comes off as I don’t need you.

Ironically, we do both to impress people because we believe we need them, which is coping by over compensating. This all comes off as overly dependent and not impressive at all.

Bragging…we try to get people to like us by making sure they know all the greatest things about us. We think they’ll like us better, but it’s like we think we’re better.

Know-it-all…we give unwanted advice, opinions, answers to show how wise and helpful we are, but we crowd others’ ideas and make them feel dumb or that we can’t be wrong.

Bossy

Feeling sorry for yourself…we let disappointments, setbacks, fears and criticism get in the way of enjoying life. We want empathy and validation, but we drag others down.

Being a sore loser…we have to be the best and get bent out of shape when we lose or somebody else wins.

Saying sorry too often or never apologizing…we assume blame or deny any responsibility to keep others from being angry, but we end up looking weak.

White lies…sometimes we tell small lies or omit the truth to save face or keep the peace. This includes not being upfront with how we actually feel, expecting others to guess. They can tell, and we seem shady.

People pleasing…we prioritize what others seem to want in order to keep them around. Seems nice, but it’s manipulative.

Trying to be perfect…we over compensate to hide our weaknesses. Refusing to ask for help…we wouldn’t want to seem needy, but we miss this great chance for connection with others. Nobody’s perfect, join the crowd.

And worst of all HUNGRY for attention—not being willing to believe it when somebody isn’t worth your time or effort and instead letting them walk all over you.

We do all these things to be appreciated and have social success, but they don’t work!

So STOP IT!

Instead, do what it takes to achieve what you’re after.

Instead of bragging, hold back the coolest things about yourself. Let people find out naturally as time goes on. Let them earn it over the course of true friendship. Anything cool seems even cooler when you didn’t feel the need to bring it up immediately or rub it in others faces.

Instead of telling white lies, let people know the truth as you see it.

And rather than pleasing people to get something from them, do what pleases you and bring them in on the fun. I don’t mean to never cooperate, but don’t do it just to get something from others.

We all feel sorry for ourselves at times, but a great way to snap out of it, and an even better way to keep others around is gratitude. Be grateful for what’s going well and what you did do right even in the situation you’re feeling sorry about.

Show your weaknesses and admit to your mistakes instead of trying to be perfect. People love to see you accept your own flaws because that means you’ll accept theirs too.