When is it best to do nothing? In response to a bully, almost always is the answer, but let’s get more specific in today’s episode.

Any time you feel compelled to fix, change, or make it better with the bully, stop right there because you are handing out the bully snacks in that moment.

Notice whenever you feel like you MUST do something about the bully. Get good at noticing this impulse, so you can get good at resisting it.

What is it about these kinds of reactions (fixing, changing, adjusting, or making it all better) that makes them interesting to a bully?

Two things immediately come to my mind: The knowledge the bully gets from watching you try to win them over, and the power they get from seeing you fail.

You misguidedly want to do the right thing: be fun and entertaining, or at least cooperative, to be liked.

It’s tough to do nothing when you desperately want to do something to make the pain or discomfort end. And being boring, doing nothing, is SO unsatisfying in such moments.

But remember boredom repels bullying and bullies, which is why it’s a bullyfood principle.

Being boring in the form of doing just about nothing is today’s lesson in a nutshell.

You must almost always be prepared to do just about nothing.

What I really mean here is to do nothing more than make sure the bully knows you’re choosing to do nothing about them.

This is where detachment comes in.

Detachment is your secret power.

What is it, why it matters, and how to do it so you can use it?

Detachment is letting go of your attachment to a specific outcome, feeling or thing.

It matters because being attracted to one thing over another alters your feelings and behaviors around it.

Over attachment makes us anxious to get what we desire, and in many cases, it makes us less likely to get it.

When it comes to a bully, detachment to the outcome of them leaving you alone, or being treated better by them, makes those things much more likely to happen…

Why you ask…because they can only take away an outcome you clearly prefer, if you don’t care, they can’t deprive you. Not only that, but they will also have less information about what you prefer in general, and you will be more relaxed to operate effectively.

When you care, you stress, you try, you fix, you change, you make it better. When you stop caring, you empower yourself to relax, and give up the fight.

This is all very boring to the bully.

The trick is HOW you do it.