ResponseABLE Parenting

In this episode I talk about the difference between control and trust. And how we have been so conditioned to control the process, control the outcome, control our children’s behavior. Because left to their own devices things haven’t gone well in the past. But the more we control, the less time they have to practice, to fill up their own control bucket, to show us through their actions how capable they truly are.  I offer a new way of thinking about control and some guidance on how to slowly release the reins and give your children the opportunity to show how much they care about this relationship as well.   FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown 4 steps to get you through your kid’s meltdown without snapping!  Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling  This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! The community is CLOSED. Please join the waitlist and gain access to my weekly newsletter to be informed of when the community opens again.  https://responseableparenting.ck.page/newsletter  VIRTUAL MEETUP! Is there a challenge in your family that has NOT gotten any better? Are you stuck in constant power struggles, experiencing defiant behavior every day, just feeling so defeated that nothing has worked and you fear you’re losing the connection to your kids every day? Then this is for you. Join my monthly virtual meetup where you can share what's happening and get real, actionable and personalized solutions. This is the most affordable way to get 1:1 coaching so the plaguing problems go away and you can finally enjoy parenting again! Meetings are held the last Tuesday of every month (subject to holiday adjustments). Join here: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meetup    BE A GUEST!If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you! Submit here: https://bit.ly/4c57Tx5

Hear from the Founder of Good For You Girls (a toxic-free skincare line that supports kids through puberty and beyond). Our discussion ranges from the challenging food and product options for our tweens/teens as well as how to have empowered conversations about the hormonal changes they are experiencing. Kimberly shares wonderful ways to stay connected, alert, curious, and how to move through this delicate time without shame and feeling empowered. Tune into this very important conversation!  Kimberly has offered my listeners a promo code: RESPONSEABLE20 for 20% off her product line.  Head to GoodForYouGirls.com to check out her products and scoop some deals before the holidays!  FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown 4 steps to get you through your kid’s meltdown without snapping!  Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling  This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! The community is CLOSED. Please join the waitlist and gain access to my weekly newsletter to be informed of when the community opens again.  https://responseableparenting.ck.page/newsletter  VIRTUAL MEETUP! Is there a challenge in your family that has NOT gotten any better? Are you stuck in constant power struggles, experiencing defiant behavior every day, just feeling so defeated that nothing has worked and you fear you’re losing the connection to your kids every day? Then this is for you. Join my monthly virtual meetup where you can share what's happening and get real, actionable and personalized solutions. This is the most affordable way to get 1:1 coaching so the plaguing problems go away and you can finally enjoy parenting again! Meetings are held the last Tuesday of every month (subject to holiday adjustments). Join here: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meetup    BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you! Submit here: https://bit.ly/4c57Tx5

*Trigger warning at minute marker 7:30 I share a story of my stillbirth.* In this episode I share a very vulnerable and tender moment I had with my strong willed kid. He did something impulsively that pushed on all my buttons. And instead of having a corrective conversation we ended up having one of the most honest and connective moments. I was able to recognize that my desire to control his behavior is rooted in a deep fear that I will lose him just like I lost his brother.  My control and perfectionism have morphed and are now showing up as protection. This was a beautiful moment between us and we were able to really see each other after this conversation.  I hope you feel seen as well and I look forward to connecting further with you.  FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown 4 steps to get you through your kid’s meltdown without snapping!  Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling  This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! The community is CLOSED. Please join the waitlist and gain access to my weekly newsletter to be informed of when the community opens again.  https://responseableparenting.ck.page/newsletter  VIRTUAL MEETUP! Is there a challenge in your family that has NOT gotten any better? Are you stuck in constant power struggles, experiencing defiant behavior every day, just feeling so defeated that nothing has worked and you fear you’re losing the connection to your kids every day? Then this is for you. Join my monthly virtual meetup where you can share what's happening and get real, actionable and personalized solutions. This is the most affordable way to get 1:1 coaching so the plaguing problems go away and you can finally enjoy parenting again! Meetings are held the last Tuesday of every month (subject to holiday adjustments). Join here: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meetup    BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you! Submit here: https://bit.ly/4c57Tx5

The phrase “feel your feelings” has become this negative trope used to make parents, who are really trying to do things differently, feel weak and shameful about their choices.  I hear all the time “Oh you’re one of THOSE parents who allow feelings…” As if thats a BAD THING!?  In this week’s episode I talk about how allowing both yourself and your child to feel your feelings (yes even the “bad” ones) is a radical act. And why it should be the focus of all interpersonal relationships, not just parenting! If you are ready to dive into this process and want the guidance and support I share in this podcast please either DM me on Instagram @ ResponseABLEParenting or email me at beck@responseableparenting.com  FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown 4 steps to get you through your kid’s meltdown without snapping!  Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling  This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! The community is CLOSED. Please join the waitlist and gain access to my weekly newsletter to be informed of when the community opens again.  https://responseableparenting.ck.page/newsletter BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you! Submit here: https://bit.ly/4c57Tx5  

In this episode we explore a phrase my therapist told me back in 2020. “You need to change in order for ME to feel better.”  I feel like this phrase helped me see every situation differently. I began to understand my responsibility in each relationship. What I brought to the dynamic that was either healthy or not.  And I was able to really start a journey of self-discovery and accountability to show up the way I wanted to in each interaction. If this resonates with you and you’re looking to do this work alongside a coach I would be honored to talk with you. You can DM me on Instagram @ ResponseABLEParenting or email me at becky@responseableparenting.com  This work matters so much, not just to benefit your children. But to heal parts of you that have kept these relationships from reaching their full potential.  FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown 4 steps to get you through your kid’s meltdown without snapping!  Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling  This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! The community is CLOSED. Please join the waitlist and gain access to my weekly newsletter to be informed of when the community opens again.  https://responseableparenting.ck.page/newsletter  BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you! Submit here: https://bit.ly/4c57Tx5

In this episode I share 3 major reasons why yelling is so effective. I share why it works so well with our kids and why it’s likely a tool you’ve been using in your parenting. I also dive into the effects and why this habit of ours deserves to be reevaluated and overhauled.  I share 3 effective strategies to implement INSTEAD of yelling and how you can take baby steps in the direction of getting rid of yelling. Just remember, you are a good parent EVEN IF YOU YELL! This is a well worn habit and we are simply in the process of replacing our behavior with a new one that feels better for both us and our children. FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown 4 steps to get you through your kid’s meltdown without snapping!  Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling  This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! The community is CLOSED. Please join the waitlist and gain access to my weekly newsletter to be informed of when the community opens again.  https://responseableparenting.ck.page/newsletter BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you! Submit here: https://bit.ly/4c57Tx5  

In this episode I share why I dislike the umbrella term “connection over correction” and why I think it’s doing parents who are really trying a disservice.  I share what it looks like to use connection as a tool and how to connect to yourself so that you can connect to your children. I hope you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that you are trying and not failing after listening to this episode.  FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown 4 steps to get you through your kid’s meltdown without snapping!  Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling  This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! The community is CLOSED. Please join the waitlist and gain access to my weekly newsletter to be informed of when the community opens again.  https://responseableparenting.ck.page/newsletter BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you! Submit here: https://bit.ly/4c57Tx5

“When I’m in a relationship with his behaviors there is less for me to see and love and adore and protect. But when I put that down, it opens my eyes to all the things that make him special, unique that I love and want to protect in him!” - Amanda Doyle, We Can Do Hard Things This quote hit me hard. It reminded me of the years I had invested into removing unwanted behavior and how I was exclusively focused on the behavior, not the child in front of me. In this episode I talk about how we can begin to separate the behavior from our child. And steps we can take as their safe caregiver to understand their behavior more clearly and how we can get curious and connect with them in order to fall back in love and connection with our child vs. focus only on their behavior.  FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown 4 steps to get you through your kid’s meltdown without snapping!  Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling  This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! The community is CLOSED. Please join the waitlist and gain access to my weekly newsletter to be informed of when the community opens again.  https://responseableparenting.ck.page/newsletter BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you! Submit here: https://bit.ly/4c57Tx5  

I made a post a few weeks ago about my son negotiating with me in the pool for more pool time. I walked through the scenario and shared THE WIN of how he held his end of the agreement EVEN THOUGH he had an impulse to jump back in.  Since that post I’ve received 100s of messages from mostly men talking about how I should have solved that problem with physical violence against my son. They got dark. Very dark. And in this episode I address that.  The comments show a society of adult men who were not taught how to deal with frustration. Men who were not taught how to deal with the discomfort from another person’s perspective. And a generation of men who were taught that if they don’t get their way, if someone pushes back even slightly, that the way to maintain your position of power is violence.  In this episode I share why it is so important to teach all children how to deal with frustration but specifically our sons. Who are being raised with the same outdated tropes that it’s not manly to cry, to feel, to have emotions.  This has to end.  If you would like to work with me and join me in my mission to support the next generation in a better way, please reach out to me.  Either connect on Instagram @ ResponseABLEparenting  Or email me: becky@responseableparenting.com I look forward to supporting you and your family in a healthier way.  FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown 4 steps to get you through your kid’s meltdown without snapping!  Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling  This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! The community is CLOSED. Please join the waitlist and gain access to my weekly newsletter to be informed of when the community opens again.  https://responseableparenting.ck.page/newsletter BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you! Submit here: https://bit.ly/4c57Tx5

Teaching our kids the ways of the world from value based boundaries vs. consequences and yelling is NOT easy. In fact, it’s way harder. But it is worth every bit of effort.  In this episode I share a personal story of watching my son understand the boundaries and how he put it into practice while playing a game with his brother.  My hope in sharing this is to give you a beacon of hope. This is a moment I will hold onto forever as I remember that this part of him is alive and well inside, I just need to nurture it more and continue giving him the opportunity to practice.  FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown 4 steps to get you through your kid’s meltdown without snapping!  Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling  This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! The community is CLOSED. Please join the waitlist and gain access to my weekly newsletter to be informed of when the community opens again.  https://responseableparenting.ck.page/newsletter BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you! Submit here: https://bit.ly/4c57Tx5