Ask Christopher West

Why can’t I let go of a toxic past relationship and fully embrace attraction and presence in my marriage?What does it mean to die with dignity, and is it right to see death as something good or redeemed?How can I teach psychology through a Catholic lens and reveal God’s beauty in the human mind?Resources:COURSE SCHEDULEJPII Legacy Foundation WebsiteEating the SunriseAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.Questions answered this episode:---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---⁠Submit your question here!⁠---🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠📚 View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!📘 ⁠⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.🏔️ ⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:Can we call God “Mother” without being heretical?Is my friend’s bodybuilding lifestyle and public modesty truly compatible with Christian witness?How do I prepare for marriage without becoming anxious about its challenges?Resources:JPII Legacy Foundation Website⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.Questions answered this episode:---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---⁠Submit your question here!⁠---🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠📚 View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!📘 ⁠⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.🏔️ ⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:Can indulgences and scapulars make sense through the lens of Theology of the Body?How can I embrace lifelong celibacy after my wife left me?Are appearance-focused exercises inherently vain or can they be good?ResourcesCOURSE SCHEDULEEating the SunriseFill These HeartsSexual Needs Into Prayer YouTube VideoChastity: Reconciliation of the SensesGod Is Beauty Book---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠---Submit your question here!---🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠📚 View our ⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!📘 ⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.🏔️ ⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists

Questions answered this episode:How do I overcome fear and insecurity about sex before marriage, especially since I’m a virgin and my fiancé isn’t?How can I love someone well when she ended our relationship but I still care deeply for her?How do I reconcile Galatians 3:28 with TOB’s teaching that we remain male and female in eternity?ResourcesCOURSE SCHEDULELove & Responsibility YouTube Series---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠---Submit your question at ⁠⁠AskChristopherWest.com⁠⁠.---Resources mentioned this week: View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠---🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠📚 View our ⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!📘 ⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.🏔️ ⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists

Questions answered this episode:I work for a small Christian university... how can I prepare to teach Theology of the Body to a Protestant audience when JP2's writings feel dense and I'm limited in time and resources?After discovering my husband’s hidden struggles with pornography and masturbation, how can I walk with him toward a true relationship with Christ while dealing with my own feelings of betrayal?I’m about to get married and just found out I’ll have my period on my honeymoon. Is it OK for Catholic couples to have sex during menstruation?ResourcesCOURSE SCHEDULEOur Bodies Tells God's Story BookJohn Paul II’s Letter to ArtistsGod Is Beauty Book---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠---Submit your question at ⁠⁠AskChristopherWest.com⁠⁠.---Resources mentioned this week: View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠---🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠📚 View our ⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!📘 ⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.🏔️ ⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists

Questions answered this episode:At a recent funeral, people spoke about God's perfect timing in death, but I wondered, isn't death, the separation of body and soul, a result of the fall? Doesn't God's will have both a perfect and permissive side, given our fallen world and freedom to choose? Wouldn’t God prefer us to live forever, body and soul, rather than just our souls going to heaven? Can you help me understand all of this in the context of Theology of the Body?I was discussing sexuality with my atheist friend when she asked why the Church says masturbation is wrong. She then compared her body to a Ferrari, claiming she worked hard to take care of it and should be able to enjoy it alone. I was left speechless. What does the Church and Theology of the Body say about this?I’ve been practicing NFP with my husband since our marriage, but I’m struggling with my conscience. He wants to wait a year before trying to conceive, while I feel ready to start our family. I worry that NFP is being treated like contraception. I’m also feeling lonely and disconnected, especially since it’s easy to abstain for weeks. How do I talk to my husband about this, and am I wrong to think NFP isn't right for us right now?Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠---Submit your question at ⁠⁠AskChristopherWest.com⁠⁠.---Resources mentioned this week: View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠---🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠📚 View our ⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!📘 ⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.🏔️ ⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠

Questions answered this episode:How can I affirm the single life as a valid and holy vocation, especially for those who feel overlooked in typical vocation stories?As a wife with low sexual desire due to hormones (e.g., postpartum), is it okay to engage in intimacy for my husband's sake even if it's uncomfortable—and is it wrong to show enthusiasm I don’t truly feel?When teaching my kids about sexuality, should I share my own past sexual sins—or could that send the wrong message, even though I’ve been forgiven?Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠📕 ⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠---Submit your question at ⁠AskChristopherWest.com⁠.---Resources mentioned this week:View our ⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠ ---🎥 Check out our ⁠YouTube Channel⁠📚 View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!📘 GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.🏔️ Join us on one of our pilgrimages!If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org

Questions answered this episode:1. My husband and I are newly married and both committed to our faith. I came into marriage with a deep understanding of the sacredness of the marital embrace through TOB, but we quickly discovered I have a much higher sex drive, and he struggles with erectile dysfunction. It’s left me feeling rejected, unattractive, and alone—especially since women rarely talk about having stronger desire. I’m trying to love him through this, but I’m grieving how hard this is compared to what I imagined.2. I’ve been on and off with a woman I feel deeply connected to—like home. That connection has led us into sexual sin many times, though we often go to confession. I truly love her, but I’m afraid our past intimacy might have harmed our chances of a holy marriage and family. If God is calling us to be together, have we already ruined something good?3. My husband has struggled with porn since he was young, even though he always sensed it was wrong. He worked hard to stop, especially during our engagement, but relapsed a few times in marriage—mainly around postpartum seasons. He’s been free for over two years, but I’ve just had our third baby and feel anxious it could return. He’s otherwise loving and tender, and our sex life is beautiful. But I worry this may be a cross we carry forever. Is real healing possible?Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. ---🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community!---Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.---Resources mentioned this week: TOBI COURSE SCHEDULEList of trusted counselors & psychologistsLove & Responsibility YouTube SeriesJPII Legacy Foundation WebsiteFreedom Coachinghttps://www.stevemotylcoaching.com/Hope’s GardenWhat to Do With Your Sexual Needs YouTube VideoSexual Needs Into Prayer YouTube Video---🎥 Check out our YouTube Channel📚 View our [COURSE SCHEDULE](https://tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/) to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!📘 [GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE](https://shop.corproject.com/collections/best-sellers/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage) by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.🏔️ Want to join us on one of our pilgrimages? [Click here](http://tobpilgrimages.com/)If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org

Questions answered this episode: Questions answered this episode: My eldest son is nearly 20, and he told us 2 years ago that he doesn't believe in God, which was incredibly heartbreaking for my husband and me. He is, however, respectful of our faith. He has a girlfriend, and they have been dating for about 4 months. She's just moved to another state to study at a university, which is about 4 hours from where we live. He's looking forward to visiting her in the next few weeks. He's planning on staying with her when he visits, which seems to him like a completely practical thing to do. How do I broach the topic of chastity and avoidance of sin with someone who doesn't claim to believe in God? I want to find a way to speak truth to him, even if it only plants a seed for the future. Any ideas or wisdom from your experience as parents and years of ministry would be greatly appreciated. My wife and I are in our mid-40s. We have 4 kids ages 17 to 11. We also have 2 in heaven from a miscarriage and a premature birth. The 11-year-old was our last pregnancy. We've used NFP ever since to avoid pregnancy, but it has been challenging for our relationship with just a few days per month that we feel safe to have sex. All these years, I've been honoring my wife's reluctance and fear of another pregnancy, but I never realized my own until today. We're left to believe it is our responsibility to avoid getting pregnant because God will give us more kids whether he should or not if we give him the opportunity to. I think he's reckless about giving out children and doesn't consider the toll it could take on us. I'm not proud of this confession, and I doubt it is a good way to think of NFP. I guess I'm asking for help to see things more clearly. I should add that my wife has had hard pregnancies and deliveries, and having this 11-year gap only heightens our fears about another pregnancy. But it is not like doctors ever told us we should avoid getting pregnant or risk serious health consequences. We've just been afraid to keep going through the hardships that come with new life. We can keep up the cautious NFP approach, but it feels a lot like we're not trusting God and we're holding back from each other. I don't know the right way to think about this, and it has been a long time of uncertainty. I am a 29-year-old single woman, and I come from a family with a history of sexual abuse. Some of my siblings were sexually abused by my dad. I was also sexually abused, though it was by one of my brothers when we were younger. My brother is sorry for having done this and has sought reconciliation with both me and the church, and I have forgiven him. Growing up, my mom always said that a man and a woman should never be alone together if they're not married because, quote, something could happen. I realize this might be a prudent way to live, and with everything that has happened in my family, I can understand why my mom says this. However, because of all these things, I find myself having a hard time trusting men or knowing how to relate with them without being, I think, overly cautious. Most of the friendships I have with men tend to stay at the surface level because I don't know how to open myself to them. I really want to be able to have deep relationships with men, but I also don't know how deep is too deep. Do you have any advice on how I can learn to trust men and to open myself up to having deep, intimate friendships with them? How do I know if I'm crossing over into a place of going too deep, and would it be best to wait to date a man until I've learned to not have these thoughts of what he might do constantly at the back of my mind? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. 🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body 📕 Get a copy of Christopher's [Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty](www.eatingthesunrise.com) ⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community! Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com. Resources mentioned this week: Are you ready for marriage? Check out Next Step: A Course for Discerning Marriage 🎥 Check out our YouTube Channel 📚 View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! 📘 GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies. 🏔️ Want to join us on one of our pilgrimages? Click here 🌟 For professional Catholic Life Coaching, including Porn Recovery: https://www.stevemotylcoaching.com/ If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram. Discover the Theology of the Body Institute. If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals. Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Questions answered this episode: Dear Christopher and Wendy, thank you for all you do. For context, my husband and I are expecting a baby again for the third time in less than three years, despite our best efforts to practice NFP. I am exhausted and facing potentially serious health concerns. My parents have never understood our stance against contraception, despite being Catholic themselves, and have always tried to persuade us to use it. Things came to a nasty head recently when we announced our latest pregnancy, and we had a major fight. My father says Catholics are not bound by the teachings of Humanae Vitae and are thus free to practice contraception because it is not, quote, ex cathedra doctrine. How do I respond to this? My dad said some very hurtful things about my husband and me. I don't know what to do. I held my ground during the argument, but now I'm starting to doubt myself. Please help. I'm a 20-year-old college student who truly started choosing Christ in my first year of college. In high school, I was in sinful relationships, but when attending a Catholic college, I wanted to stop that. Everything changed when I met a girl who inspired me to pursue sainthood, and I knew I needed to grow in virtue to date her. After seven months of waiting and growing, we began a Christ-centered relationship. But it ended after a month and a half when she chose to discern religious life. Two years later, I still struggle to move on. I've mistakenly entered other relationships hoping to forget her but constantly find myself thinking of her and comparing potential partners and even friends to her. Deep down, I don't want to let her go and feel drawn to reach out, remembering the Christ-filled joy our relationship brought to both of us. My question is, should I let go or should I pursue this relationship? I've been married for 21 years. On our honeymoon, my husband suffered an injury that made sexual intercourse extremely difficult and eventually impossible for him. We have seen doctors for treatments that were unsuccessful and very embarrassing for my husband. In time, we realized it was not going to get better, and it hasn't. By God's grace, we were able to have one child, but marital relations between us have not been possible for over 17 years. My heart aches and longs for this affection from my husband, but I long ago accepted the fact that our marriage is celibate and always will be. In the early days, we fought about this all the time, mostly because he avoided physical contact with me so as not to arouse himself, and I felt very rejected. He's never really liked to talk about this as he finds it very difficult to share his emotions. I used to pressure him to talk, but I've learned that that just isn't his way. I've also learned to see the many other ways that my husband loves me through his acts of service and dedication to our family. He is a wonderful husband, and we love each other deeply. Our strongest connection is our Catholic faith. I experienced a very deep conversion back to my Catholic faith a few years after our marriage, and this has helped me to mature and grow a deep intimacy with God. Even though I have that intimacy with God, I still at times feel so very alone with this cross and have spent most of my marriage feeling as though my husband doesn't desire me, as if he doesn't miss the intimacy because he won't share his pain with me. I have recently begun reading a book, The Cantata of Love, a commentary on the Song of Songs. The imagery in the poem is so beautiful, and it has reawakened in me again the feelings of how much I miss my husband. This part of me I mostly shut down because it's too painful to keep revisiting those unmet desires. It feels a bit like, why torture yourself by reading this? At the same time, I realized that the poem is also an allegory of the love between the bridegroom and the bride, Jesus and my soul. I wonder if you have any experience with people in similar situations and what has helped them. Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. 🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body 📕 Get a copy of Christopher's [Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty](www.eatingthesunrise.com) ⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community! Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com. Resources mentioned this week: Marriage Missionaries [Mike Mangione, director of events contact to inquire about “The Well”](events@tobinstitute.org) TOBI Event Calendar 🎥 Check out our YouTube Channel 📚 View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! 📘 GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies. ⛷️ Join Christopher on a ski trip to Utah Click here 🏔️ Want to join us on one of our pilgrimages? Click here 🌟 For professional Catholic Life Coaching, including Porn Recovery: https://www.stevemotylcoaching.com/ If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram. Discover the Theology of the Body Institute. If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals. Featuring music by Mike Mangione.