Terrible Book Club

The 9th Colony by Colin Curtis was vanity published through AuthorHouse UK in February of 2023. We received an email from a podcast PR rep asking us to have the author on the show as a guest. We don't have authors on the show, but we get a lot of these emails because some PR companies just send blanket form emails without actually having any idea what the podcasts or other entities they’re contacting actually do. Normally we just skim and delete, but this one caught our eye because it suggested that Mr. Curtis had expertise in the science of human evolution and space exploration and would talk about "the evolution debate". Considering the book was only 128 pages, it seemed worth a read and review for us this year. Disclaimer: Most of this year's episodes were pre-recorded many months in advance. Please keep in mind that when we recorded this review in early 2023, the UAP/UFO hearings in congress that took place in July obviously hadn't happened yet. If you haven't yet watched or read the transcripts of those hearings, it's worth your time: UAP Hearing Wrap Up In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode includes discussion or mention of: aliens, alien abduction, cartoon-level violence, conspiracy theories, and UAPs/UFOs. U.S. Government Alien/UFO Investigations Office of the Director of National Intelligence's Preliminary Assessment of Unidentified Aerial Phenomena National Archives: Project Blue Book Kurzgesagt's Short-Form Videos about Alien Possibilities:  The Fermi Paradox — Where Are All The Aliens? (1/2) The Fermi Paradox II — Solutions and Ideas – Where Are All The Aliens? (2/2) Why Alien Life Would be our Doom - The Great Filter Aliens under the Ice – Life on Rogue Planets What Do Alien Civilizations Look Like? The Kardashev Scale Citations Needed: The Very Real Social Brain Rot of Ancient Aliens and Ancient Apocalypse  

If you're interested in our take on a WWII popcorn spy thriller, it's here! It's hard for us to say no to reviewing a book when you mail it to us. We got a copy of His Majesty's Hope through the magnificence of the US postal system from our Patron EasternSwiss. They asked us to read it for their Patron’s Choice episode this year, telling us that this book is about, "a British tutor [who] becomes a spy to fight Nazis, but neglects her duties, gets her partner killed over dumb shit, and never listens to smart people...her half sister in Germany is...clueless about Nazis despite her mother being a top official with the party! Like how can you know nothing about what's happening!? It's implied Goebbels sometimes visits her house, like c'mon - you know some shit.” In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of: Nazis and their whole deal during WWII, but specifically child murder, eugenics, prison camps, and mild violence.

We've got another reddit find for you this week! Paris found this when perusing the latest "What's the worst book you've ever read?" post that surfaces a few times each year in various literary subreddits. In one response, redditor u/lydiardbell explained that Interview with the Devil (Part 1 - Victor's Account) was indeed the worst book they've ever read. What made it really memorable was that the author threatened to burn their house down for the review they wrote for the book. In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes mention or discussion of: cannibalism, violent abuse, r*pe/sexual assault, su*cide, and torture.

This week, we discuss our experience reading Golden (The Golden Wolf Series Book 1) by Shannon Mayer at the request of our Patron Robin. Robin said, “It looks truly abysmal. I can't wait to hear your summary.” Golden is a shifter romance where a wolf is cursed to be a golden retriever and gets wrapped up in the events of Ragnarök (the end of the Norse cycle of renewal) and everything's got a little nü-metal flavor. Paris goes full red-strings-on-corkboard to try to figure out how the elements of the plot could possibly make sense. In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of r*pe fantasies and physical violence.

The Man Without Qualities by Morris Berman was recommended by listener (and author!) O.F. Cieri back in December of 2020. It was recommended to them by a friend who said this book "would change America" and that "we were all going to look at each other differently "- "a new culture would emerge from this book!" Although this book is supposedly intended as satire, it left us wondering how much of it or what elements were supposed to be funny. Check out O.F. Cieri's urban fantasy, Lord of Thundertown In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes discussion of: American politics (specifically the 2015-2016 brand) & jokes based on ethnicities and gender.  Correction: Around 2:00 and 9:50 we mention that we were told this author was a "major conservative thinker who worked for the Nixon administration" by the original person who recommended it to O.F. We later discovered that neither of those things were true - Morris Berman is an American historian and social critic and is not typically categorized as conservative. He also never worked for the Nixon administration. Whoops! Apologies for the accidental misinformation. Sherry Turkle: 2012 TEDtalk: Connected, but alone? Turkle's Books & Articles U.S. Socioeconomic & Political Background Info: Poverty & Disenfranchisment: https://www.poorpeoplescampaign.org/resource/power-of-poor-voters/ https://www.prrac.org/newsletters/julaug2002.pdf https://www.americanprogress.org/article/systematic-inequality-american-democracy/ https://www.aclu.org/news/voting-rights/racist-roots-denying-incarcerated-people-their-right-vote https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9930477/ Police Brutality: https://mappingpoliceviolence.org/ https://policebrutalitycenter.org/police-brutality-statistics/ https://policeepi.uic.edu/u-s-data-on-police-shootings-and-violence/ March & Protest Statistics: https://stacker.com/history/famous-protests-us-history-and-their-impacts https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_protests_and_demonstrations_in_the_United_States_by_size https://acleddata.com/2020/09/03/demonstrations-political-violence-in-america-new-data-for-summer-2020/

Waldo Beyond the Walls: Adventures in the Galaxy by Bill Shook was recommended by an anonymous fan who has been a devoted listener to the podcast for 5 years. Thanks, anonymous friend! We very much appreciate your devotion. Our wonderful anonymous listener here recommended this book because, “It read not like…someone's first pass at writing something...It was so utterly abysmal that it deconstructed my brain…and put me off reading for a wh[o]le week…I ran the [book] by [4 family members, one of whom is] a professionally published writer. Their opinions were in line with my own, and I'm sure yours will be as well…It has been optioned for a movie; these truths need [to] be expressed [so] that [Waldo Beyond the Walls] may be extinguished.” In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes some discussion of 1990s-era "multiculturalism" which means we'll be touching on race and racism but not heavily. Vikings in North America: https://brewminate.com/the-norse-in-america-and-the-myth-of-viking-discovery-fact-and-fiction/ or the video version: https://youtu.be/ldOtYQOqCw8?t=450 https://www.nationalgeographic.co.uk/history-and-civilisation/2023/01/vikings-in-north-america-heres-what-we-really-know Massa-two-setts: https://www.massmoments.org/moment-details/massachusetts-loses-maine.html  

Chris found this being discussed on various subreddits related to men writing female characters. The book was pulled from Amazon and other platforms shortly after the internet criticism began, but someone managed to save it on an archive.org page. Thanks to them, our minds are now poisoned - and yours can be, too! In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes mentions or discussion of nearly every heinous thing you can imagine, some of which include: auto-cannibalism, blood drinking, domestic partner abuse, r*pe/sexual assault, racism, and deadly amounts of misogyny. If tackling red-pilling and misogyny feels too big and heavy, follow Sam Kirsch for a quick anti-patriarchy tip of the day and other men's mental health topics in short form (and also some features on books, body mods, guitars, & heavy metal) If you're OK with being slowly eaten alive by a woman you hate for the chance to have sex, consider therapy and other health resources instead:  https://mantherapy.org/ https://www.bethedifferencescv.org/resources-for-men.php

Our Patron Julius the Nice Dragon requested today's book saying, “I want to nominate...“First Impressions” by SJ Saunders…It’s the first of three installments in a rather short trilogy I found floating on audible, but it never found an audience. Several years later it has about five total reviews online! So I think the question [for] this book is - Why did it flop the YA “dystopia” space? Is it too mediocre? Just got bad and irrelevant? Good but undiscovered?" We return to The Dunks! This book is all about cyborgs and supersoldier cloned teens in future Boston. Naturally, we discuss the MBTA for too long because we discover that even in an imagined highly advanced technological society, it still doesn't work. In fact, there is so much Boston-talk in this episode that it may be dangerous to listeners outside of New England. Please be advised.

Our Patron Lucek requested today's book saying, “Drew Hayes is becoming one of my favorite comedic authors. His NPCs and Fred the Vampire account series are very good. . . but we all have to start somewhere. So, I was hoping you'd read his first published novel, Pears and Perils.” Join us on the island of Kenowai for a Scooby Doo-esque friendship adventure including a cat who is king, a magical pear, and capitalist buffonery.

This week, we were asked to review The Long Moonlight by our Patron Arrant with nary another word. Such mystery - why was this recommended for the show? Why is this moonlight so very löng? Many thanks to Arrant for their longtime patronage of the show! In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes discussion of general fantasy violence/gore.