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It’s Not About the Sex

Westside Therapist
110 episodes   Last Updated: Apr 26, 24
It’s Not About The Sex is a podcast based on the book by the same name. Psychotherapist Andrew Susskind examines issues such as shame, grief, narcissism, and codependency to demonstrate how people use out-of-control sexual behavior to cope with broken heartedness. Each podcast he interviews other therapists who work with clients dealing with addictive behaviors around troubled relationships.

Episodes

Today’s episode featuring Andrew and Sue focuses on Emotional Resilience, the lead chapter of Andrew’s workbook. In the original book, the first chapter explored Emotional Sobriety, but the word resilience is more aligned with Andrew’s current focus on regulating the nervous system. This episode kicks off a monthly spotlight on each workbook chapter.   Music credit: Neil Freebern Freebernmusic.com
Today’s episode is Sexual Recovery: From a Nightmare to a Love Story. We welcome Steve Wolt, founder of Valor Recovery, a peer-based recovery coaching and support system to help men overcome porn abuse, sexual compulsivity and intimacy challenges. By discussing the promises of sexual recovery, Steve offers hope and inspiration to his clients and our listeners. He shares the differences among coaching, therapy and sponsorship in clear and grounded terms and concludes the episode with an emphasis on love and fellowship.  Music credit: Neil Freebern Freebernmusic.com
Andrew’s latest release The It’s Not About the Sex Workbook: Moving from Isolation to Intimacy after Sexual Compulsivity (Routledge Press, 2024) is now available for purchase on Amazon, and he and Sue wanted to take this opportunity to explore Andrew’s journey with his three books from 2004 to 2024. Andrew shares the opportunities and challenges that go along with the writing process and the publishing world and ends with immense gratitude for his incredible team of supporters who have been in his corner all these years. Music credit: Neil Freebern Freebernmusic.com  
At this time of unrest in the world, it’s even more important to focus our attention on lovingkindness toward self and others. Adapted from a meditation developed by the Mindfulness Awareness Research Center (MARC) at UCLA, this timely exercise provides an opportunity to carve out some time to cultivate the love and kindness within.
We welcome Dr. Tom Murray, author of Making Nice with Naughty which explores the intricate dynamics of self-control and its impact on sexual and intimate relationships. During this provocative conversation, issues related to the over-controlled temperament, monogamy and the wanting vs. willing dynamic in sexual relationships are explored fully. Tune into this very relevant and overlooked theme. Music credit: Neil Freebern, Freebernmusic.com
Adapted from Jack Canfield’s book The Success Principles, this visioning exercise gives you an opportunity to envision the coming year without limiting yourself. By examining the seven areas he developed, this will invite you to open the aperture to the limitless possibilities ahead of you. It’s not that anything has to happen, but simply what could happen –   Dr. Sam Foster Music Credit: Neil Freebern, Freebernmusic.com
Mellissa McCracken is a trauma informed substance abuse counselor working in an acute treatment setting in Los Angeles. In this episode we explore consensual non-monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships all in the context of sexual recovery and more. Mellissa brings her expertise and wisdom within the LGBTQI+ community into this valuable conversation. Please join us to learn more about these often-misunderstood terms and definitions. Music Credit: Neil Freebern, Freebernmusic.com
Andrew and Sue offer an abundance of tips to help navigate the 2023- 2024 holidays and beyond. Borrowed from Andrew’s new book, The It’s Not About the Sex Workbook (Routledge Press, February 2023), these tips are part of the practices outlined at the end of his workbook. Take a listen and try out a few tips that resonate for you.
Porn has inadvertently become a form of sex education in our culture, but it’s actually entertainment. Diane Gleim is a psychotherapist as well as a certified sex therapist who brings her seasoned perspective and wisdom to this often-misunderstood topic. In this conversation she helps us explore the ambiguity of porn, the suspension of disbelief, moral incongruence as well as erotic conflicts. Join us for this illuminating and objective discussion of using porn as a form of sexual expression. Visit Diane’s website at www.dianegleim.com for more information about her on-demand class, Porn Literacy 101.
How often do we forget to simply breathe? Listen to this guided meditation as an opportunity to take stock of your breath non-judgmentally and with curiosity. In this brief exercise you will build body and breath awareness and see where this moment of relaxation may take you. This exercise has been modified from a meditation originally developed by the Mindfulness Awareness Research Center (MARC) at UCLA.